Thursday, October 30, 2008

I woke up early at 9 today,my lesson is at 12.. i dun want to go school because i find it stressful and the worst thing is i have been running away from problem and try to escape and now I'm stuck.. I seriously hate myself for that..I know i'm far way behind wat my teacher is teaching and becoz today there's assignment is like a mini test i know i will fail so i dun wan to go.I hate it when i fail, and i couldn't stand it anymore.. not just in school..EVERYTHING i do I FAIL! it just dun happen the way i want it to be.. I'm such a LOSER..

I dun wan to go to tkd becoz i'm afraid, afraid that i can't kick well, get out of breath, dun have the ability to do it faster, stronger, been defeated, get scoldin from coach coz i can't meet up to the expectation,the fact that i'm weak, last of all i afraid to lose, and i dun see myself on track.. i use to like tkd so much that i can train everyday,travel far distance just for that few hour of training, even if i get bruise all over limbing my way home, and i still feel happy.I just dun feel the same anymore..for so long i been trying to get back what is lost.. den i realise I'm wasting time.But i will still give in the last try..and 1 big mistake i learn NV HOLD BACK!

I tried to do what i have been learning and in the end i failed again.That very moment when i holding to those overcook and awful muffin i just hate myself even more..damn it! but thanks to the sooee & gerlyn who give me encouragement at all time.. give me the courage to step out again! they nv fail to make me smile..=D

train hard and dun look back!